1 de noviembre de 2006
Dear Suzanne, Over dinner
today Cris made me cry. We were talking about Helen and she said “poor Suzanne,
what did you do to her, dad?” ; she disarmed me. No answers. Yes it was my
fault. You impressed Cristina with your conversation over the phone and she
said you are very nice and sweet. It is terrible when children ask questions. I
was all fidgety all the afternoon and I called twice. I thought something wrong
went with the phone but realized you were busy perhaps expecting your prospective
buyers never mind. I am sure you sell your property well but of course I
appreciate it might be a trauma moving and packing and going to live somewhere
else and adapt to a new life negotiating your retirement and pension. Many
things at a time, take it easy. My heart is with you in this especial moments.
That is why I fell in the temptation of the bloody phone. Sometimes I have
physical need to talk to you because it relaxes me and in your mails you sound so laconic. Of course I want to
know more and more about my dear Helen. Forgive this estranged father. I hope
that when you change address we not lose contacts please. Now I have been
thinking about an idea all the afternoon such is well as I know I have hanged
my books in Internet from an international booksellers Abebooks and the
business goes well I notice I have more petitions. Today I am sending a book I
purchased in London called the “Day s Burden” to Ireland, yesterday dispatched
another to California and the day before to Germany. I have about two thousands
and odds books in stock and I can conduct this business from home it keeps me
entertained and fit and also I liked since I think I am a bit of connoisseur
and you know how much I love books and also I know you do as well as you have been
quite an extensive and prolific reader. My proposal is this – perhaps books I
dont know could unite us again for Helen’s sake if life and events since there
is always a gap between expectations and achievements did us part- we could
earn money by selling books through Internet. All you have to do is to make a
catalogue or put down a list of the books you have read get rid of and want them on the market and
transfer it to me via email and I hanged in my website if I have a petition I
mailed you and sent the money of the prize of the book postages and every
thing. The description is like this:
1- Name of the author
in capitals
2- Surname after coma
3- Title
4- Publishing House
5- Year of edition
6- Some particulars of
format like soft or hard cover (skin) characteristics of paper
7- Conditions of the
copy
8- Prize in dollars or
in pounds.
For me it is like
manual work. Keeps me out mischief and
of my broodings and also I can earn some money. I remember when I was in London
I used to visit often Portobello and the flea markets. Well you told me you
have books in cases. Dont dispose of them please. Helen likes books? If she
does please tell me. It could be a good business for her spare time. I dont
know I hope I have not proposed an infuriating or mad idea. Things here are
quite smooth although the political situation is a disaster and very hard for
me to put through but we will survive and my taxonomy from now onwards should
be never complain I know I am grumbler but very strong and stubborn. They bend
me but they might not break me. How sweet Cristina how full of commonsense. I
am in a quagmire since I dont know what to do to approach our Helen. Will she
like to accept to come over here for Xmas? My wife is better since I have been
nearly five weeks in the band wagon. She
didn’t let me to go to Fuentesoto since she knows me and the bodegas or cellars
with the good wine of the Ribera del Duero are a danger for me. Poor Silvino I
did not go to put flowers in his tomb but I have had him all the day in my mind and also you parents. They are all
together now. Please I am anxious to gather news about Helen and also how is it
going the selling of the house. I dont understand why Rog is also packing up.
Please dont disaggregate, stay together perhaps you want to be near Helen. The
babies ok? Those little things could be nuisance . How maternal she is and
professional. Tell me more things about her what she likes how are her friends.
I see the telly and London is as bad as here full of aliens and Islamites they
might be good people I dont deny it but why they dont adapt themselves to our
way of life and drop the chador and the gurka and the veil or what we call here
because this country was Islamic for eight centuries and some of the Arabs
tradition endure the griñon or almaizar. I hope that this melting pot comes out
without conflict but my Henar frightened me when she said today she wants to give birth to a black baby
and better twins gosh I nearly had a shock. I would accept it of course we are
all sons of God but it is a pill hard to swallow if she marries a Muslim and
takes my child to his harem. If God forbids but I am full of cobwebs and in the
doldrums and that is why sometimes I want to talk with you. I cant talk to my
wife she says I am burnt out case and she says I look like Buda my looks very
deteriorated but I can say I have been a good breadwinner and provider I didn’t
keep anything for myself since I am a bohemian and generous coming from a very
peasant family but I pushed myself through in life. A pity I couldn’t fulfil my
dreams of a literary career. The whole planet has changed and readers are not
interested in beauty feelings or aesthetics considerations. Everything has
become venal and subjected to market forces. No place to a humanist like me.
Still I keep a job and my marriage although it is quite on the rocks had gone
to worse patches than now in the past. It was a mistake to get married again
out of despite I think sometimes but others seeing the nice family God has
given me hold other considerations that I have written a good book with crooked
characters and uneven lines. Anyway Suzanne Tony was only a philosopher a
dreamer. Should have become a priest but the bishop should have the hell of a
job with me always running after the ladies. Please consider my proposal. What
do you think about the idea of selling books in partnership with me. That is
why I wanted to ring you up. Write as soon as you can and please become a
little bit more explicit my lady Suzanne. I always will love you until I pop
off. You were a miracle a dream I never thought you were real. That was the
trouble. Look after yourself and send my Helen tons of kisses and love and
support. I am still scared to talk to her.
Your faithfully
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