2021-11-14

EL ODIO DE LA BESTIA SE HACE FUERTE EN UCRANIA. RESPONSABLES DOS PAPAS EL DE CONSTANTINOPLA BARTOLOMÉ Y EL DE ROMA DOS HOMBRES DEL MOM. EL NUEVO ORDEN MINDIAL ANTICRISTIANO HOMBRES DEL M

 

PEOPLE THINK OF US AS ENEMIES, INVADERS, AND SEPARATISTS”

Archpriest Stefan BalanArchpriest Stefan BalanI liked Ternopol very much. It’s a beautiful, clean town with ancient churches, parks, and a great lakeside recreation zone. You’ll rarely hear anyone speaking Russian there—as opposed to Kiev or the southern and eastern parts of Ukraine, Galicia has always remained a predominantly Ukrainian-speaking region. This so-called symbol of Ukrainian identity has become ever more prevalent over the last few years when the state actively pursued a policy supporting the use of the Ukrainian language (and purging the Russian language).

Ternopol is a city of many churches—there are over fifty churches of various Christian denominations (which is a lot, considering it has 216,000 residents). About half of them belong to the Uniate (or Greek Catholic) Church, but the total number of Orthodox parishes (and it may seem extraordinary for someone unfamiliar with the specifics of this region) is even slightly greater than those belonging to Greek Catholics. Actually, the “Kiev Patriarchate” and the “Autocephalous Church” that united three years ago in the so-called “Orthodox Church of Ukraine” (OCU), definitely prevail in this area. The Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the Moscow Patriarchate, represented by just one church of Sts. Vera, Nadezhda, Liubov and Mother Sophia, is located on Konovalets Street in the city’s eastern corner.

The Ukrainian media is actively promoting the following concept: “The Ukrainian Orthodox Church (UOC) isn’t ours; it belongs to the aggressor nation; it should be banned”

I was riding in a taxi in Ternopol and intentionally asked the driver whether he knows what kind of a church is located on Konovalets Street. “Ah, that’s a Russian church,” was his response. His answer mirrored the fabricated identity actively promoted via Ukrainian media and politicians: “The Ukrainian Orthodox Church (UOC) isn’t ours; it belongs to the aggressor nation; it should be banned.” It’s promoted regardless of facts and day-to-day realities. Truly, how could a church be called “Russian” if its rector, clergy, and the majority of its parishioners are ethnic Ukrainians and were born and raised in western Ukraine? This terminology is particularly dissonant in Ternopol where Ukrainian nationalism (and the related hostility toward Russia and anything Russian) enjoys active support.

“I think propaganda is the reason why the locals call our church belonging to the Ternopol diocese ‘Russian,’” Very Rev. Fr. Stefan Balan, the Diocesan Secretary and the church rector, told me.

The Cathedral Church of the UOC in TernopolThe Cathedral Church of the UOC in Ternopol  

I was truly grateful to Batiushka for the opportunity to meet him. My wife and I were passing through Ternopol on our way from Pochaev to Chernivtsi. We arrived there on Saturday and planned to leave by bus on Sunday afternoon. But even in such a short space of time, Fr. Stefan found time (following the Saturday Vigil) to sit down for a talk, answer my questions, and share his vision of the situation in western Ukraine.

A Ternopol-area native, he was born in the Borschev District of the Ternopol Region to a family of peasants. His family had three sons; all of them made a commitment to serve God and became priests. Stefan entered the seminary in St. Petersburg and, upon graduation in 1992, he was ordained a priest and assigned to serve in Ternopol.

“It so happened that when I arrived in Ternopol, the schism had just flared up,” Fr. Stefan says. “Our Nativity Church downtown has already been seized. Propaganda was pouring in on all levels, in equal measure from the Uniates, the ‘Autocephalous Church’, and the ‘Kiev Patriarchate.’ It was very hard for people to sort things out. We had to organize a home church at the Diocesan Office, and that’s where we prayed and served the Liturgy for six years. During those years, we were attacked twice, suffered beatings and robberies. Nevertheless, we’d come back and serve there until the local authorities officially demanded to vacate the building.

Bake sale in front of the cathedralBake sale in front of the cathedral  

According to Fr. Stefan, the authorities wouldn’t give the green light to a new location for the church “out of principle.” Owing to the great efforts of Vladyka Sergiy (the ruling hierarch), they managed to receive a parce of land on Konovalets Street that formerly belonged to a local college. That’s where the current church compound, the only UOC Church in Ternopol, was built.

“For many years, strong feelings of resentment against our Church have been cultivated here,” Fr. Stefan continued. “Many of the locals perceive us as ‘Moskals’ (a derisive name for Russians.—Trans.) and ‘enemies of the people.’ After 2014 (when the conflict in eastern Ukraine began) and 2019 (the creation of OCU), our situation deteriorated even further. At the time, we enthusiastically supported Poroshenko and put our trust in him. He at least called himself Orthodox; in fact, he used to be a sacristan at one of the UOC churches in Kiev. But it was during his tenure as President that strong pressure bore down on our Church. After the OCU was founded, lawlessness ensued, followed by active efforts to seize our parishes from us. There was nowhere for us to file any complaints. Once Zelensky came to power it abated a little, but we can see how waves of seizures of our churches are gaining momentum once again.

Ternopol. Monument to BanderaTernopol. Monument to Bandera  

“I’ll give one example illustrating what’s going on in the minds of locals. At the time of the Maidan coup, a throng of young men carrying sticks showed up in the cathedral. They thought we were hiding gunmen or the Russian military on church premises. We had to walk them through every room to prove that there was no one there. It seemed to calm them down. We shouldn’t be surprised at such a reaction, because they associate us with Russia, and there’s been so much negativity toward Russia for the last thirty years that many people have explicitly developed an antipathy to our eastern neighbor.”

How many parishes in the Ternopol Diocese were seized after 2014?

We lost churches but the number of parishes didn’t decline as the majority of clergy and parishioners remained with the UOC

—They seized a lot of churches. People were beaten and kicked out. During Poroshenko’s rule, orders arrived straight from Kiev to re-register and strip the UOC of property ownership. We lost the churches but the number of parishes didn’t decline, because in the majority of cases, our clergy, as well as the parishioners, stayed with the UOC. Of course, in rural areas, people respond in various ways and, more often than not, they voted at village assemblies (attended not only by our parishioners but also by non-believers and even non-Orthodox) in favor of the transition to OCU. The local authorities eagerly accommodated these decisions, conducted the process of re-registration of church buildings, and seized the facilities. But then we would find other places for worship and even built new churches because both the clergy and a greater part of a parish typically remained under the omophorion of the UOC.

But how did you manage to build new churches if its so hard, almost impossible, to buy land for a church in the Ternopol region?

—We purchase private land and either renovate an existing house to use it as a place of worship or build a new one to have an opportunity to conduct services there.

Do the local authorities take the UOC’s position into account at all? Or do they completely ignore it?

On paper all confessions are equal before the law, but in reality this isn’t exactly the case

—We’re invited to attend the events and come to the meetings of the Council of Churches. On paper, all confessions are equal before the law, but in reality this isn’t exactly the case. Understandably, we’re treated as a “Russian,” “Moscow” Church. Metropolitan Sergiy has been trying for many years to buy land in Ternopol to build a second church. All to no avail. Despite everyone’s respect for Vladyka, despite personal connections, we can’t get anything done. Perhaps there are some officials who would be willing to help us but they’re afraid of negative consequences once the decision is made in our favor. Greek Catholics prevail among the folks up top here and they are negatively predisposed toward us. There was one incident at a funeral: A Uniate chaplain started talking about our Church, saying it was practically culpable for the death of a man killed in eastern Ukraine (whose funeral he was serving). They’re also mad at us because they expected a different outcome after receiving the tomos, since they assumed all the faithful would leave us and defect to this newly created “church,” the OCU. In reality, only a few willingly joined them.

Protopriest Stefan Balan and Sergey MudrovProtopriest Stefan Balan and Sergey MudrovAccording to Fr. Stefan, the local media rarely if ever shows the UOC in a good light— that’s how scared they are of accusations of supporting the “Moskals.” There aren’t any UOC chapels inside the local hospitals (they either belong to the Uniates or OCU), but priests are allowed to visit patients one-on-one (anytime theres the need to hear confessions or give Communion to a member of the Orthodox Church). Access to public schools is generally not allowed except for the Kremenetsky District (near the Pochaev Lavra) and a few other areas where the UOC clergy can visit the schools. Its easier with social services: The UOC clergymen are always welcome at children’s or nursing homes, where they come to fulfill their Christian mission of offering a helping hand to their neighbor.

These days, to be a member of the UOC in the Ternopol Region is a great deed, almost a confession of faith.

—It often happens that our parishioners have to endure vilification even from their family members. For example, one family member attends our church while the rest of the family is against it. Scandals and misunderstandings ensue when people have to tearfully “break away” from their homes to attend services. We advise them to be patient and to exhibit love and meekness… If someone at work finds out that you attend our parish you’ll get in big trouble. There’s an unspoken rule here in the land of Ternopol that you can attend any congregation, even a sect, only the Church under the Moscow Patriarchate is prohibited. There were even slogans with the words of an OCU “metropolitan” spread all across Ternopol, stating, “Every candle purchased at an UOC church is a bullet aimed to kill a Ukrainian soldier.” Our poor people, the faithful, have to suffer through all this negativity and vitriol!

TernopolTernopol  

Fr. Stefan, we all know that things do change in our life, either for the better or occasionally for the worse. What do you think—is there a chance that the attitude toward the UOC will change for the better in the future?

—It’s unlikely. The people in the Ternopol Region, under all Ukrainian presidents, have consistently displayed negative attitudes toward us. The emotions run so high that I can’t even fathom where all this rage is coming from, because our opponents call themselves Christians. If they’re true Christians, they should know how to love and forgive. But we can’t prove anything. Politics and nationalism loom large. The people think we’re their enemies, invaders, and separatists. That’s the education everyone receives here—from generation to generation, as early as kindergarten and elementary school. Across the board, they talk about us exclusively in negative terms, and that’s why, I’m afraid, we can’t expect to see any changes for the better. It seems our Church is doomed to be squeezed not only out of Galicia but also the rest of Ukraine.

Sergei Mudrov
spoke with Archpriest Stefan Balan
Translation by Liubov Ambrose

Pravoslavie.ru

11/10/2021

Comments
Panagiotis11/13/2021 5:49 am
To Tetka Mary: The editor is 100% correct... The uniates have no legitimate reason for disdain.... Many of them hate Orthodox Christians, plain and simple, ALL Orthodox Christians... It has nothing to do with Russian ethnicity, since Alexander Solzhenitsyn said himself that most of the top Bolsheviks were NOT Russian and in fact hated Russians, and the uniates should know this... Second, it is a fact that the Russian Orthodox Church suffered immensely under the monster communists and millions upon Millions of Russian Orthodox were killed, and the uniates should know this to be true also... Third, read about how the uniates came into being, and you will see the priests and Bishops made this decision for economic and political reasons, and it had absolutely nothing to do with religious reasons or convictions. The ordinary Orthodox Christian people, i.e. the parishioners, merely followed there priests into the uniate church, since the priest was the leader of the local community at that time and most of the parishioners were uneducated.... since those conditions that forced the uniate Priests and Bishops to start their own uniate church no longer exist, ask yourself why they do not return to the Orthodox Church now? The reason is many of them hate the Orthodox, all Orthodox..
Steve11/11/2021 3:51 pm
Most Holy Theotokos save us! This is terrible, and it makes me sad. Father Andrew Philips recently wrote an excellent article on the Church and sects/cults on his Orthodox England blog. I have to think that it is precisely a sectarian spirit that is the problem here in Ternopol.
Nikolai11/10/2021 11:51 pm
Glory to Jesus Christ! (The common Galician greeting). Galicia has not always been a "predominantly Ukrainian-speaking region". Prior to WWI, as part of the Austrian Empire, many dialects were spoken in Galicia. The Austrian authorities referred to them as Russian, Little Russian and Ruthenian depending on the politics of the time. The Galicians said they conversed "po-ruski" (in Rusin), "po-nashemu" (in our manner) while their literary language was Pre-revolutionary Russian known as Book Russian. This continued to be so even during the years Galicia was part of Inter-war Poland (1918-1939). When the Soviets annexed Eastern Galicia in 1939, they began the process of "Ukrainianization" as they had done in the Soviet Ukraine in the 1920's. Unfortunately, as has happened in the past, with "Ukrainianization" comes oppression of Church Slavonic, traditional Orthodoxy, the historical faith of all the East Slavs, basically the Church of Christ.
Editor11/10/2021 11:48 pm
Mary, there is a long history in western Ukraine of Uniate hatred for the Orthodox, and all people who hate can give you legitimate reasons for their hatred. But for Christians, there is no legitimate reason for hatred. Besides, by far the most violence in that region was always committed by the Uniates against the Orthodox. "Speaking Russian or any language other than the local language can be seen as disrespectful and exclusionist." So, if you are a Canadian speaking English in Quebec, this makes you disrespectful and exclusionist?
Mary11/10/2021 8:38 pm
With all due respect,I’m pro- UOC and have dealt with Ukrainian Uniates before, so I know how ferociously anti-Russian they are even outside of their region, and yet, to be fair, aren’t there some legitimate reasons for their disdain? Perhaps a know them would soften their wrath some.Also, speaking Russian or any language other than the local language can be seen as disrespectful and exclusionist. Was Termopol originally a Russian speaking area?

2021-11-12

FRANCISCO VISITA ASIS PERO SU ESPÍRITU NO ES NADA FRANCISCANIO. ES UN ACÓLITO DEL PODER GLOBAL. ES UN TAIMADO JESUITA Y LOS JESUITAS SIEMOPRE ESTUVIERON CON EL PODER DE LOS BANQUEROS

Debería meter a todos los migrantes en el Vaticano y abdicar de su conducta provocativa propia de un bocazas más que de un santo- Me abismo en las palabras del Evangelio: "guardaos de los falsos profetas". Este papa adolece de una hipocresía que atufa. Todo en él es poseo pura imagen. Dios le perdone. Me da pavor su catolicismo global por eso sigo a Jesús con arreglo al código de los rusos ortodoxos que piensan con Dostoyevski que la belleza salvará al mundo y que a los pobres siempre los tendremos con nosotros. Nada ha dicho Bergoglio sobre el origen de estos desplazados por las guerras sionistas en Afganistán, en Siria, en Ucrania Iraq o el Líbano, que constituyen una materialización de la profecía apocalíptica sobre la pressura gentium. él un bluff con algo de cantamañas. Con sus salidas de tono propias de un masón está escandalizando a la Iglesia de Jesucisto 

la profecia de dostoyevski un mundo dominado por unos pocos, un pueblo amodorrado sin libertad bajo el yugo de grandes capitalistas

 

HOW DOSTOEVSKY PREDICTED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH RUSSIA IN FIFTY YEARS

It’s amazing how Dostoevsky’s presentiment predicted the Russian revolution.

An advertisement for the 2014 film, DemonsAn advertisement for the 2014 film, Demons    

Murder of the student Ivanov

In July 1871, St. Petersburg and all Russia were shocked. A court trial had been completed against the organizers and participants in the murder of a student of the Petrovsky (now Timiryazevsky) agricultural academy in Moscow, Ivan Ivanov. His corpse with traces of trauma and bullet wounds to the head was discovered by a security guard under the ice of a pond in the academy park on November 25, 1869.

During the court proceedings, horrifying circumstances came to light. Behind the crime was a terrorist group called “The People’s Revenge”, the goal of which was mass terror against government officials, the ruling classes, and their—according to the group’s ideology—abettors. Ivanov’s “guilt” before the organization consisted in insubordination to the group’s leader. The murderers received various sentences to hard labor, since the leader himself, Sergei Nechayev, had fled the country.

Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky became interested in this story as soon as the investigation had begun. He had learned about it before the court proceedings, not only from the newspapers but also from the brother of the wife of one of the academy’s students, who was personally acquainted with certain of those who were involved in the affair. What Dostoevsky read and heard inspired him to sit down and write a new novel—“Demons”. The beginning of the novel was published as soon as 1871 in the periodical, Russky Vestnik.

Communism: freedom only for the chosen, slavery for the rest

“One percent of the population will receive personal freedom and unlimited rights over the other ninety-nine percent. These are destined to lose their own personalities and became a kind of herd, and through unlimited submission they are to achieve rebirth and primordial innocence—although of course they will labor.”

This is the program for a communist paradise that was voiced by one of the characters in Demons, Peter Verkhovensky, at a meeting of the like-minded “progressive intelligentsia” in one provincial town. Strangely this “ideal” was not met with repugnance, because considering their “correct convictions”, each one there was counting on his own inclusion in that one percent, which would be granted the right to punish or pardon, and lead mankind to a “bright future”.

Illustration to Feodor Dostoevsky’s novel, Demons. “The Five”, 1935.Illustration to Feodor Dostoevsky’s novel, Demons. “The Five”, 1935.    

Both then and much later radical circles accused Dostoevsky of painting a caricature of revolutionaries, of taking for his model the most extreme and odious members of this milieux. However, as the Polish-American historian Adam Ulam notes concerning the above-quoted prophecy, “today this picture is no longer funny”. In fact, attempts to create a communist utopia in the twentieth century in Russia, China, Cambodia, and other countries unfailingly turned into the right of the privileged minority to limitlessly decide the lives and deaths of the vast majority for the sake of that majority’s imaginary happiness (that would come after several generations).

Through his great giftedness Dostoevsky saw into the future to which the demons of the revolution would lead Russia, with the allowance and approval of “liberal society”, against whose conformist position the book was mainly aimed.

Dostoevsky’s gloomy prophecy fell on deaf ears. It was precisely the intelligentsia, until 1917 exultant over the anarchist bombers and expropriators in their struggle against the “hated monarch”, that became the first victims of those demons that had clawed their way into a position of unlimited power.

Scene from the 2014 film, Demons.Scene from the 2014 film, Demons.  

Translation by OrthoChristian.com

Russian History Telegram Channel

11/12/2021

See also

DOSTOIEVSKI VENCIÓ A LOS DEMONIOS

 

THE THEME OF FATHERLESSNESS IN DOSTOEVSKY’S DEMONS

Today is the Feodor Dostoevsky’s 200th birthday. We present this essay on one of his major novels to commemorate the day.

Photo: yablor.ruPhoto: yablor.ru    

Did the great writer Feodor Dostoevsky know when he was writing his landmark novel, Demons (also translated as, The Possessed)1 that he was recording a prophecy? This novel astounds its readers again and again with its description of revolutionary forces past, present, and future—descriptions that span a number of levels: psychological, spiritual, and mundane, and the subtle interconnections between each. It is set in the microcosm of a nameless provincial Russian town, but history shows that the blueprint, the seeds, and the mentality are universal. Anyone who wishes to understand how the bloody revolution gained momentum in Russia, and how it could do so anywhere, must definitely read this book.

This topic is enormous, and surprisingly little has been written in English on the subject of revolution and Dostoevsky’s Demons. Needless to say, it was banned after the Bolshevik revolution in Russia, and an aura of prejudice remained around it in the late soviet era. Perhaps in the West, the subtleties are harder to grasp—one needs to understand at least a little the Orthodox Christian soul of Russia. But one sub-theme that is painfully relevant to us everywhere seems to run through the novel, linking the chain of personalities and deeds that lead up to the final breakdown of a once stable society: It is the theme of fatherlessness.

Illustration to Demons by M. Gavrichkov, pen and ink. Photo: fedordostoevsky.ruIllustration to Demons by M. Gavrichkov, pen and ink. Photo: fedordostoevsky.ru    

The phenomenon of fatherlessness has a name in Russian that evokes a whole modern portrait. It is the word, “bezotsovshchina”—bezotsov meaning “without fathers”, with the suffix “-shchina” implying a state or phenomenon. The suffix is usually attached to something negative, or at least nuanced in a negative direction. Demons seems to break the record for its number of pointedly fatherless anti-heroes.

It must first be noted that part of what makes Dostoevsky such an outstanding writer is that there are no unnecessary details, no useless digressions, or picturesque descriptions simply for the sake of beauty (or ugliness) itself. The absence of fathers in the characters’ family is but a passing detail—but an important detail. Even the names are descriptive and indicate to the reader what purpose each character serves in his tightly-woven story.2 We begin with the first character whom the narrator introduces in the novel: Stepan Trofimovich Verkhovensky.

“In approaching the recent, very strange events that occurred in our hitherto rather unremarkable town, I feel that I must start further back by supplying some facts about the life of the gifted and well-respected Stepan Trofimofich Verkhovensky. This may serve as an introduction to the story to come.” Note that the story begins with Stepan Verkhovensky, whose not irreproachable yet loveable personality is immediately explained by his childhood daydreams of “taking a gallant civic stand”—that is, becoming a romantic, important figure. The narrator points to his role in the future terrible event, but at the same time offers an excuse for him, saying that “after all, his behavior was milder and less offensive, for he was really a very nice man.” This indicates that those to come after him are not nice, mild, men, and were rather more offensive. His surname is also points to the fact that he would be the first in a line of people bearing his "seed"—the root “verkh” indicates “upper” or “over the others”.

Stepan Verkhovensky is described as man of letters, a scholar, who in reality has no academic achievements—something generally overlooked by those in his town, who generally indulge his vanity. He is basically spat out by the revolutionary circles of Herzen and Belinsky because they understand that he hasn’t the real stuff of a revolutionary, but his imagination is able to transform his “exile” from St. Petersburg to this provincial town and general irrelevance into something like martyrdom. His main social coin is his elegance, which was acquired and not inherent, as the narrator shows in a passing remark that could almost go unnoticed: “Verkhovensky felt he had to make a good impression, which should have been easy with his elegant manners. For, although he was, I believe, of humble origin, he had been brought up from earliest boyhood in a well-known Moscow family and spoke French like a native Parisian.” So, Stepan Verkhovensky is also fatherless, otherwise he would not have been brought up in someone else’s family. But that is all we know about his origins. We know that he is basically good and decent, but severed from his real family he grows up nursed on his own daydreams of greatness, a fantasy supported by his highly cultured environment in what was probably a noble family of very old lineage.

Because he grew up in this fantasy world without a real father, he is basically incapable of having a serious family life of his own—only a series of romantic monogamous relationships without any responsibility. The fruit of one of these relationships would become the novel’s main monster, but more about him later.

We find Stepan Verkhovensky in the novel no longer young, and because he has no real achievements, and no real family, he has become the de facto dependent of a wealthy widow—Varvara Petrovna Stavrogina—whose estate is located near the small house he inherited from his first wife. Mrs. Stavrogin hired Stepan as a tutor to her only son, Nicholai, and her other underaged wards.

Mrs. Stavrogin and Stepan Verkhovensky had a “strange relationship”. She became the mother he perhaps never had, but when a man is fifty years old and dependent upon a “mother”, the relationship is bound to be strange. The narrator points out early in the novel that “he had become, above all, a sort of son for her—a creation, her own invention… She had invented him, and she was also the first to believe in her own invention. He was a bit like a part of her private daydream. Consequently, she made great demands upon him, almost making a slave of him.” Varvara Stavrogina also dreamed of becoming an important public figure, and thus she needed this man whose main asset was his learned refinement. Nevertheless, for all the dysfunction in their platonic friendship they were truly, deeply attached to each other, and as the narrator first described it, “Separation is unthinkable because the one who loses his temper and decides to break it up would probably die himself if he went through with it.” So, Varvara Petrovna continually seeks to put Stepan to good use. However, when they go to St. Petersburg to offer their services to the “Cause”, they leave utterly humiliated. The new generation of liberals, spawned by the older generation of liberals, turns out to be completely without any veneer of refinement, and only mock and ridicule their forebears. S. Verkhovensky finds that his supposedly noble ideas have become the “toys of mindless brats”.

Nicolas Stravrogin, Varvara’s son, grew up essentially fatherless. Even when his frivolous father was alive he was estranged from his wife, who was by far the wealthier of the two. Verkhovensky was invited to be Nicholai’s tutor when he was eight years old. With an absent father he was completely under the care of his mother, who “didn’t talk to him much and hardly ever prevented him from doing what he wanted”. She was not the kind of mother who could even have pretended to replace a father, and to make matters worse she tried to fill the gap with Stepan Verkhovensky. “In fairness to Mr. Verkhovensky, it must be said that he knew how to gain the affection of his pupil. His secret was quite simple: he was a child himself.” However, Verkhovensky indulged himself in a way totally impermissible for a professional tutor: He would wake the boy up at night and confide family secrets in him, pour his heart out to him about his own grievances against his mother, and they would sob in each other’s arms. “We may assume that the tutor was to some extent responsible for upsetting his pupil’s nerves…”

Amazingly, Dostoevsky touches here on what is now well known in psychology concerning the psyche of some men who grew up fatherless, and their vulnerability to a father figure, no matter how that figure fails as an example of manhood. “We may assume that the two friends’ tears, when they sobbed in each other’s arms at night, were not always caused by domestic intrigues. Mr. Verkhovensky had managed to touch the deepest-seated chords in the boy’s heart, causing the first, still undefined, sensation of the undying, sacred longing that a superior soul, having once tasted, will never exchange for vulgar satisfaction. (There are even people who value that longing more than the more radical fulfillment, even when it is possible.)” This gives us a hint as to why Nicholai Stravrogin, a handsome, gifted, and elegant man, was not only incapable of loving the women who adored him, but took a certain pleasure in tormenting them. He was guilty of serious crimes and various outrages, but he was never held accountable because no one seemed to be able to decide whether he was a tormented superior soul, mentally ill, or simply an evil man wearing a mask of mystery and elegance.

This unhealthy relationship was observed, and Nicholas was sent to boarding school, where he became even more distant from his mother, who nevertheless sends him all the money he requests. He becomes a reckless, wanton bully who exploits high society women and then insults them publicly. It is in this depraved St. Petersburg period that he takes an action that is interpreted in turns as either noble or base, but around which the entire novel ultimately revolves, and which triggers the tragic finale.

The implications of the surname Stavrogin clearly come to rest in Nicholas. The root “stav” means “to put”, while “rog” means “horn”. These two words together also form an idiom used in reference to marital infidelity.

Having failed miserably in the capital, Stepan Verkhovensky becomes the ideological leader to a group of young people in the province. But soon his real son Peter arrives, and takes what was deemed lofty ideology to its next level, causing great harm to people’s lives and in fact, disrupting the life of this staid provincial town. Peter Verkhovensky was born to Stepan Verkhovensky’s frivolous first wife while the couple was living in Germany. This fact also points to a kind of fatherlessness—Russians often call their country either the Fatherland—Otechesvto, or the Motherland—Rodina. This child was born without a Fatherland, so to speak. Stepan Verkhovensky had sent his little son back to Russia “like a package”, where he was raised in a foster family. He grows up to be precisely what the apostle talks about: “Without natural affection” (Rom. 1:31; 2 Tim. 3:3). If out of Nicholai Stravrogin, Verkhovensky senior’s “foster son”, some noble feeling or passion would occasionally break loose, the senior’s natural son is utterly devoid of any real feeling, never mind anything noble or Christian. To the contrary, he’s like the devil himself. Even the physical description of him given when he appears on the scene as an intruder at a provincial evening gives us the impression of a reptile, a serpent: “No one could say he was bad-looking, yet nobody liked his looks. His head was elongated at the back and seemed compressed at the sides, making his face rather pointed. His forehead was high and narrow and his other features small and fine: a sharp nose and long, thin lips.” He had deep folds on his cheeks and wrinkles on his cheekbones. “He moved and walked hurriedly, even when he wasn’t pressed for time… He spoke rapidly and hurriedly, but with assurance, and without having to search for the right word… One began to imagine that the tongue in his mouth had something special about it, that it was very long and thin, very red, and exceptionally pointed, with a constantly flickering tip.”   

Peter Verkhovensky, who openly despises his own father, seems to be seeking a father in Nicholai Stavrogin. Stavrogin is the only person Peter looks up to, even idolizes. Stavrogin is everything Peter is not, and the latter is well aware that his own image is not polished or charismatic enough to take charge of the Cause outside their provincial town. He wants to make Stavrogin the figurehead of a movement Peter would control behind the scenes, and he is even willing to humiliate himself before Stavrogin’s contempt. Peter, like a devil, wants to use Stravrogin as his antichrist.

Of course, the simple fact that Peter Verkhovensky grew up fatherless is not intended to show that fatherlessness is itself an indictment, that such children will always turn out bad. I think that Dostoevsky uses this very negative figure to characterize a revolutionary leader, types he had himself been involved with in his youth, who were basically “spawned” by the previous generation of poetic liberals who had given them no real upbringing, no rootedness, and no faith in God. The result was that many of them became not only atheists, but even antichrists.

Besides, there are two other characters in the novel who would prove that growing up without their natural father did not ruin them completely; however, they do not escape spiritual harm, because only a caring father can completely protect a child from the evils of the world. These are the Shatovs: Ivan Pavlovich and his sister, “Daria (Dasha) Pavlovna. Ivan Shatov was the son of Varvara Petrovna’s valet, and Dasha became her ward. Varvara Petrovna was a complicated woman but very generous. She gave both of these peasant-born children educations and provided for them. Stepan Verkhovensky was also set as a mentor for them, inculcating liberal ideas into Shatov. These ideas would cause him to be expelled from university. He goes down the path of the liberal “Westernizers”, travelling to Europe and entering into a “free-love” marriage with an “emancipated woman”. He even travels to America to see what life is like without a monarchy. After returning to Russia, he completely sheds his revolutionary ideas and begins to earn his own meager living, accepting no more charity from his former benefactors. Stepan Verkhovensky considers him an ungrateful traitor to his ideas, saying that he is constantly shouting about “Holy Mother Russia—notre sainte Russie.” He supposes that it’s due to the violent upheaval in his personal life: His wife had amicably parted with him to pursue “freedom”, only to be abused by Stavrogin abroad. But the story shows that Shatov’s change of heart and return to his roots is more complex and profound—and he ultimately suffers for it.

Illustration to Demons by M. Gavrichkov, pen and ink. Photo: fedordostoevsky.ruIllustration to Demons by M. Gavrichkov, pen and ink. Photo: fedordostoevsky.ru    

Shatov is disgusted with the revolutionary “five” that has been commandeered by Verkhovensky Jr., and he becomes a morose loner. But the more we get to know him the more we see that he is a deep and noble soul, who has returned to his Christian roots. He is a defender of the downtrodden; and when his “emancipated” wife shows up at his poor home, he receives her lovingly and chastely, ready to start a new, wholesome life with her.

His sister, Dasha, also stumbles in that she is ready to do anything for the profligate Stravrogin because she is hopelessly in love with him. Her love is self-sacrificing, expressed in a readiness to forever serve a man whom she knows is incapable of loving her back.

But here we see a higher level in the ongoing theme of “fatherhood”. While Stravrogin makes nervous attempts to return to a “father”—he even visits the holy Bishop Tikhon to confess a grave sin—the demons in him always get the upper hand. Whereas although Dasha and Ivan Shatov are cut off in a sense from their natural father, they are able to return to the embrace of their Heavenly Father, and their earthly Fatherland. They are wounded, but capable of becoming whole.

More tragic is Elizaveta Nicholaevna Tushina (Liza), the daughter of Varvara Petrovna’s childhood friend, Praskovia Ivanovna Drozdova. Liza also lost her father in childhood, and also received the tutelage of Stepan Verkhovensky. She is lively, attractive, and intelligent, but capricious, and also fatally drawn to the dangerous Stravrogin like a moth to the flame. He ultimately destroys her—almost against his own will, urged on by the devilish Peter Verkhovensky. She is a good soul, with natural religious piety. Her distant relative Maurice Drozdov loves her tenderly, chastely, and selflessly. That such a man would love her is already an indication of her goodness.   

It is interesting that the most noble, religious, wholesome, and self-sacrificing person in the whole novel is also possibly the only character coming from a normal family. His father was well known, upright and respected. Maurice, incidentally, is the only person that Peter Verkhovensky can’t manipulate. He has a firm understanding of right and wrong, and sees through all his evil machinations. Notable again is the surname, Drozdov. The holy hierarch Philaret (Drozdov), Metropolitan of Moscow, was an important figure in the Russian literary world. It was he who answered Pushkin in the lofty, impeccable verses entitled, “Remember Me, Who Have Forgotten Thee”. In one episode, Maurice also very symbolically knees before a holy man whom his companions, which included Liza, had come to visit out of idle curiosity. To everyone’s astonishment, the holy elder bows down before him. As the tragic story unfolds, it becomes clear that this was a prophecy concerning the good Maurice, about whose fate at the end is only known that he left that town. Does he leave the world and become a holy monk?

There is one more fatherless child who appears only at the ominous end—Erkel, a young ensign artilleryman. “Erkel was the sort of “little fool” who lacked the real sense that should rule a man’s head… He was fanatically and childishly devoted to the Movement—that is, essentially to Peter Verkhovensky… Carrying out orders was a vital need of Erkel’s shallow, unthinking nature, which longed instinctively to be subordinated to another’s will. Oh, it goes without saying, it could only be in the name of some ‘great, common cause’—but what cause made no difference.” Erkel looks up to Peter Verkhovensky as the father he never had, someone to tell him what to do and guide him to something worthwhile. But in fact, Peter is really more like one of our modern cult leaders, teenage idols, or Antifa-type gang leaders who only use such youthful “zeal without knowledge” to their own egotistical ends, than he is a true father replacement. Erkel will do anything to gain his approval, even murder. His fanatical devotion to Peter makes him ready even to go to prison rather than betray him, imagining himself to be a kind of martyr for the “cause”.      

Dostoevsky’s Demons portrays many more important psychological types who all contribute to the birth and growth of a Movement, the stated goal of which is “systematically to undermine the foundations of the existing order, to bring about the disintegration of the social structure and the collapse of all moral values, which would cause general demoralization and confusion. Then the broken, decaying society, sick and in full ferment, cynical and godless, but thirsting for some guiding idea and for self-preservation, could be taken over when the banner of revolution was raised…” Most of those contributing to the movement don’t even realize that they are digging their own graves. One can’t help but recall the fate of the Russian intelligentsia who so blithely, simply to make themselves relevant in the academic world, conveyed their liberal ideas to the youth, who then bore that seed and produced a vast, satanic meatgrinder, even murdering the main father of the Russian land—the “Tsar Batiushka” as Russian folk used to call their “Little Father, the Tsar”. The elder liberals ultimately spawned the younger nihilists. These cultured surrogate fathers could only look in horror at their own creations before either escaping the country, or disappearing into the hopper themselves. But they had no authority to control them, and were no match for their infernal dedication.

Fatherlessness is a tragedy, and the cause of so many blighted lives. But the worst kind of fatherlessness is when people have lost their connection with God the Father. They become like the lost souls who follow the devil, symbolized in Demons by the younger Verkhovensky, into the abyss of lawlessness. Dostoevsky, however, showed by his own life that when one remembers God and seeks Him, he can be pulled out of that abyss—albeit not without profound suffering.

 05/11/12





Dostoievski es otra historia


para entender a Dostoievski debe el lector lanzarse a las profundidades del alma humana. Es diferente a los demás. Párrafo largo que se cine al venero interior, a los flujos de conciencia. Contradicciones y repeticiones pero, sobre todo, un gran poder de observación. Los hermanos Karamazov constituyen un homenaje a la Psique de los griegos. Hasta el siglo xix no hay paisaje en la novela. Pues bien, el poderoso escritor ruso es un paisajista del mundo interior y al mismo tiempo un tratadista de la patología del ser humano sumido en las pasiones, atraído por el bien pero seducido al mismo tiempo por el mal. Su arte universal es valedero para el hombre de todos los tiempos y habitante de los más diversos países. Círculos que se cierran, caminos que se abren, sonidos, imágenes, sus personajes se someten subyugados a la fuerza del hado. Derrumbamientos, celos, asesinatos, envidias, la muerte, el asesinato, los complejos mal explicados y las manías del cerebro... todo eso es Dostoievski que zambulle su pluma en la vida irremediable restregándola en una eclosión de metáforas. Es frío y afilado como un tempano. Toda su obra se escribe a orillas del Neva donde en primavera con la rasputitsa bajan por el malecón de la avenida Nevski bloques de hielo, fantasmas helados. El ritmo frenético exige en el lector un esfuerzo de concentración. Leyendo Crimen y Castigo yo he perdido muchas veces el huelgo pero tanto me atrajo su lectura que pasé noches enteras con el libro. Noches blancas. ¿Por qué mataría Kolecnikov a la vieja? Hace buena novela negra pero Sherlock Holmes o el inspector Poirot son entes superficiales que se abstienen de profundizar en todo el bagaje psicológico de antecedentes penales y de traumas que le conducen a un malhechos a perpetrar la acción. En este escritor hay un mago de la palabra que la esgrime a la vez como aliento del diablo y susurro del cristo. Lázaro sal fuera. Redímete. Su `pensamiento profético está relacionado con la gran liturgia bizantina. Cuando rasguea su pluma sobre el papel se percibe como la salmodia de un monje que invoca al creador e impetra misericordia por la humanidad castigada. Resucita hombre del tiempo. Mira a lo alto. En muchos capítulos se lanza un responso penitencial y el texto discurre por vericuetos que recuerdan a los banquetes funerarios o convites feriales  de la antigüedad eslava cuando se comían hojuelas y luego se esparcían sobre la tumba del muerto. Un rito de fecundidad desde la creencia de que todo lo que muere resucitará. Al grito de Getsemaní le seguirá un canto de resurrección. En los grandes maestros rusos parece aletea la luz de la lamparilla votiva que alumbra los iconos.

narciso alonso cortés su libro me inició en la literatura

 VALLADOLID 2





En cierta ocasión que visité la Ciudad del Pisuerga tuve la curiosidad de visitar la casa donde habitó uno de los eximios maestros de preceptiva literaria, don Narciso Alonso Cortés. Los que estudiamos humanidades en los 50 nos empollamos su Historia de la Literatura Castellana en papel malo y fotografías de daguerrotipo. Dios mío, muchos recuerdos. Vivía en Nuñez de Arce 34 el académico, el más eximio erudito de las letras hispánicas en los últimos dos siglos. Bajo su guía empezamos a conocer y a amar a los clásicos. Discípulos suyos fueron Gerardo Diego, Alarcos Llorac el ovetense a los que ningunearon sus paisanos a causa de su peculiar opinión sobre el bable y los bablistas (dijo una verdad como un tempo, pues no se puede resucitar una obra muerta) López Anglada, Juan RAMÓN Jimenez, los Machado. Detrás tenía un huerto y una higuera y un lema en latín que decía messor indefessus (segador sin fatiga) 

Era un latinista de primer orden desde sus tiempos de seminario. Tuvo por maestro nada menos a a don Raimundo de Miguel. Colgó los hábitos en teología pero la pasión por la tradición de aquella iglesia universal, su liturgia, su lengua, permaneció hasta el final de sus días. Murió sin ser demasiado reconocido y casi abandonado. ¡Ay si hablasen las piedras de Nuñez de Arce 34, aquella puerta de piedra arco de medio punto enguichada de barrotes, aquel jardín, aquella higuera y aquella biblioteca de casi cincuenta mil volúmenes pignorada en casi tu totalidad! En cuan poco tienen los españoles de ahora las cosas grandes de su patria, qué poco 


inclinados a los deleites espirituales de la especulación, la lectura, la charla en un café a media tarde.

En el Diario Libertad me publicaban a mis mis primeras crónicas desde Londres. Luego la piqueta deletera y rencoroso de los que no olvidaron a Onésimo Redondo, su eximio colaborador, obligó a echar el cierre. Siempre se atuvo al carácter revolucionario de su fundador. El Norte de Castilla, por contra, y que los admiradores de Delibes ideológicamente fue siempre más acomodaticio y funcional. Cuando vino la transición Manu Leguineche se colocaron la medalla de haber sido el periódico de la oposición al franquismo. Pertenece a la familia de los Alba y su línea editorial de ideas conservadoras, burgués y liberal coincide con el talante de la ciudad de comerciantes, industriales y terratenientes de medio pelo. Valladolid siempre tuvo un aire francés. Algunos de los edificios con sus mansardas en lo alto y los pinos tejados cubiertos de pizarra recuerda un poco a París.

Joaquín DÍaz en este libro sobre su ciudad ha hecho un exhaustivo alarde de dotes documentalistas y muestra las pulsiones de la urbe que cuya historia conoce bien. Valladolid tiene un talante artesano y manual muy tradicionalista donde los zapateros celebran la fiestas de San Crispin, los sastres a san Homobono y los toreros a san Pedro Regalado un cura converso que es a su vez patrono local. Fue ápice de la Contrarreforma, lugar de muchos curas y frailes: los del Babero del Colegio La Salle, los agustinos filipinos, los jesuitas. También de militares: academia de Caballería, regimiento de San Quintín etc. apunta otra peculiaridad, la de las amas secas o nodrizas, exuberantes matronas venidas de Asturias y Cantabria para formar parte del séquito de la servidumbre de familias acomodadas. Cien años en la vida de una ciudad más de ocho veces centenaria no son nada pero la labor realizada por el autor ha sido tan importante como valiosísima y eficaz y, al parecer, por muy poca paga. Nunca estuvo la cultura española en tal devaluación. Llegó la peste y la pasta -enhoramala- de los vivalavirgen y vivanderos de la Mala Causa y en manos de cuatro mandarines arbitrarios e incultos que procuran que la buena antorcha se meta bajo el celemín, mientras ellos nos deslumbran y ocupan cacho, publican, son agasajados por toda esa patulea de la Mediática pánfila. He aquí, sin embargo un libro para el recuerdo, un buen manual de historia local que hace las delicias de un empedernido lector cuando abro sus páginas en este otoño de crisis y apago la crisis mientras el personal sen entretiene jugando al apocalipsis con el huracán de NY. La Gran Manzana donde viví el apagón del 77, ay aquel verano de pesadilla, me pareció un pueblón de Kansas City habitado por paletos mientras en Valladolid viven hidalgos. Voy poco últimamente pero los paseantes de la calle Santiago, Umbral lo decía, eran un poco pijos, siendo él, asimismo, Dios le haya perdonado, envarado y distante con quien le convenía pero, en fin, cada una de las ciudades de Castilla la Vieja tiene una personalidad distinta. En Pinciana, patria de Zorrilla aun  se detecta el orgullo de la que fue urbe y corte hasta el tercer Felipe. Allí fue bautizado el Rey  Prudente, murió Cervantes y toda la ciudad respira un aire entre castrense y místico, orgullo de casta. En León son cazurros y comen conejo. Los de Segovia, judíos. Ávila, augusta, la de los santos y los cantos, buena gente conversa pero no tienen vino. Zamora la bien cercada por un lado la cerca el Duero y por otra Peñatajada es larga y no se recorre en una hora; de punta a punto diez kilómetros, yo creía que no llegaba a la procesión un Viernes Santo. 

En Burgos viven los altivos. Salamanca docta, circuncisa e imperial donde aun retajan a los niños. Soria, lejana y ensimismada rinde culto a san Saturio y a san Mamerto, es la Mamel alemana bien aireada por el Moncayo. Palencia, gente de pro y los de Logroño, coño, y para de contar, pues Castilla la Vieja [uno aprendió geografía por el plan antiguo antes de que se impusiera esa arbitrariedad territorial de las Autonosuyas] pero la lectura de este libro me ha servido para remozar antiguas vivencias. Gracias, Joaquín  .


notas de mi diario verano 1966

 

1966 APUNTACIONES


4 ABRIL 1966, LUNES SANTO


hoy se ha ido maría. A estas horas maría prudhomme la canadiense estará en Florencia paseando por una de las hermosas calles de la ciudad donde nació el dante. Cuando huelo mis manos aun queda en ellas algo del perfume de las suyas. Que me acariciaron como nadie en el mundo me ha acariciado. Tu te partiras demain et tout sera oublié… alors, on verra –elle m´a repondu- je t aime jer te adore mais tu vais…… c´est posible mai pas du tout proable. Je voudrai ten donner tput mais je ne peux pas, je l´ai promise a mon dieu…. Que tu es jplie my darling. I vavent another one like you… you are the First and the last- en nuestras jaculatorias amatorias combinábamos el inglés y el francés pues ella era canadiense hasta el coitus interruptus. Fuimos a bailar el viernes. Nuestros cuerpos temblaban de felicidad y de deseo. Luego nos fuimos al retiro y ella se desprendió de los brazos de los brazos de su acompañante cuando este quiso pasar a mayores. Tiens elle es francaise

13 abril 1966 lunes de pascua

llego del pueblo a la una. Siewnto igual que otras veces la felicidad de llegar del pueblo y hablar con mi madre de todo aquello que cada año que pasa se viene a menos. La gente emigra a las capitales. Cierran las portadas, venden el ganado. Pero a mi me gustan los pueblos más que la ciudad. No creo que encuentren la felicidad en Madrid. Aquí puede ganarse más pero hay mas crisis nerviosas y cunde la infelicidad – Erifos ya me atenazaba. Yo quiero irme a vivir a uno de esos pueblos cuando acabe mi carrera. Estuve trabajando en la hemeroteca toda la tarde y regresé a casa para ver el partido. Vienes más moreno. Es que estoy más en forma. Amo a Castilla, sus tesos y sus pobedas. Me parece que la enfermedad ya está pasada. Son solamente nervios. Creí que tenía cáncer. Nada he vuelto a saber de la canadiense.


16 de junio, 66,

pasó el día de mi santo y el disgustillo ocasionado por el suspenso en la revalida, no obstante haber aprobado el curso fue todo una proeza. Los nervios y la mala suerte me tocó una bola estúpida me jugaron su coartada en el oral. Los portorriqueños de Chicago chocan con la policía. En Usa hay ocho millones de hispanos. Críticas a de gaulle que en Moscú habla de Europa de una Europa que vaya desde el pirineo a los Urales en nombre propio. Eso exaspera a los americanos los cuales empiezan a evacuar las bases militares que tenían en Francia- usa accede a las requisitorias de la grandeur gaullista sin rechistar pue4s bastante problema tienen en Vietnam. El ayuntamiento de Cádiz se incomoda con el correo catalan por llamarle re`publicano cuando es un rotativo de inclinación carlista


17 de junio 1966 viernes

los nacionalizados españoles en honduras pueden mantener la doble nacionalidad gracias a las gestiones del ministro de industria gregorio López bravo. Me parece acertado. Nuestro camino está en América. Hay que fomentar relaciones no solo comerciales sino culturales y crear cátedras, en la urss hay medio centenar de cátedras de historia de América y aquí solo una. De Gaulle habla en Moscú de una Europa desde tarifa a los Urales que grande es de gaulle. El ayuntamiento de Cádiz incomodo con el correo catalán periódico monárquico pues considera a Cádiz sede del republicanismo con vistas a la sucesión.


18 de junio sábado

entre los jóvenes americanos a punto de graduarse en harward solo un 12 por ciento piensa dedicarse a los negocios. A los demás les trae sin cuidado esta atmósfera capitalista. No hay prisas por ingresar en la carretera de ratas- cultura jipi. Los conservadores republicanos se quejan de la crisis de valores del fundamentalismo de los padres peregrinos. Secundan a Alan ginsberg el poeta que mandó a la mierda a las armas atómicas. Cunde el pesimismo porque estan perdiendo la guerra de Vietnam. Los vietcongs siguen inmolándose a lo bozo como pasó el otro día en la ciudad de Hue. Una muchacha de 16 años ardió como una tea en Nha Trang. Hay entre los inmolados algunos monjes budistas. Antes de su holocausto se les suministran drogas para no sentir dolor.


20 de junio 1966 lunes

Quang un monje budista inicia hoy su segunda semana de huelga de hambre en protesta contra el gobierno de Saigon. Ha sido ingresado en una clínica de Hue. Lo alimentan a la fuerza.

Joaquín Balaguer gran amigo de España tomará `posesión de su gobierno en la republica dominicana. Fue colaborador de Trujillo pero se mantuvo siempre ajeno a la inmoralidad administrativa. Balaguer es poeta y novelista y tiene varios libros publicados. Estudió en la Sorbona y fue embajador en Madrid. Problemas que tiene delante: un tercio de los dominicanos se encuentra en paro. Cunde el analfabetismo y el gobierno tiene que pagar a sus funcionarios con prestamos recabados en usa.

En argentina la situación sigue confusa y a la espera de los acontecimientos los militares dirigidos por el general Onganía.


8 de agosto del 66

como me he vuelto un ser sin intimidad reanudo mi diario. Espero decir no demasiados tonterías y ser menos gazmoño de lo habitual. Ayer escribí a Maria prudomme. Me dio por esas. Estoy seguro que esta chica de winsconsin no habrá olvidado a su españolito de Madrid… yo que sé.

Estoy liado con mis practicas en Radio Nacional. Soy un afortunado. Entro a trabajar a las tres y hasta las nueve de la noche. Mis compañeros son albeniz, Arozamena y el director de la Gaceta de los deportes es un arbitro que se llama Galende. El periodismo de Radio me gusta. Dicen que tengo buena voz. Hace falta soltarme y perder un poco de miedo a la alcachofa. Tambien eché la instancia para hacer un lectorado en Inglaterra. Me gustaría salir fuera pero tengo un poco de miedo. Tengo la carrera de Filología Inglesa casi acabada pero mi nivel de inglés no es muy bueno. A los españoles nos ha entrado una autentica obsesión con el inglés. No sé que haré. Largarse a la Pérfida Albión significaría renunciar a un puesto de trabajo pues me han ofrecido hacerme3 fijo. Trabajo con José Manuel Gozalo un santanderino al que llaman Kubala.

Me gasto bastante dinero en chavalas. Soy muy romántico y mi madre a fin de mes me pregunta que hay de lo mío. Pues toda la paga, mamá. Le entrego el sobre a ella y yo me quedo con dos mil pesetas para mis gastos. Y aunque soy muy espléndido es que en mis relaciones con las mujeres adolezco de una cierta timidez que arrastro desde mis años de seminario.

Hay que aprobar la revalida de periodismo sea como sea. Y6 convalidar en la escuela Oficial el titulo de la Escuela de la Iglesia que tantos sudores y trasnoches me ha costado.

11 de agosto 1966

Voy a dormir a casa de Circumspector porque hace unas noches hubo un ataque de nervios que se puso muy mal. En el patio de luces sonaba música de los Nee Gees if you go to massachuissets. Enfrente de la casa de mi amigo hay una rubia que está muy buena. Se llama Gumersinda y la vimos el otro día en viso. Madre que tetas, que canilillo. El cura don Retogenes que está aquí a pupilo con Circumspector nos echa un rapapolvos y dice que estamos un poco salidos.

Me fui a un bailongo ayer domingo y ligué. Mis encantamientos y obsesiones con la rubia la pagó mi compañera de baile ocasional. Me dijo que me arrimaba como una lapa. Me gustan los Beatles, los be gees y Sylvie vartan